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. . . it’s just plain HARD on the heart.  And, the object of my preoccupation the last few weeks . . .

You know that quote about motherhood?

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” –Elizabeth Stone

For 19 years, my girl has been a daily presence in home life.  But, it is now time to take the bravest step of all, at least for me, and let go . . . and there goes my heart, walking around, on her own . . .

Last weekend we moved Hayley up to her apartment near the community college she has chosen to attend.  Dave and I both graduated with our BA in education degrees at WWU, so the area is very familiar to us.  It’s a beautiful place to go to school.  Hayley decided to pursue a Massage Therapy License, and get her AA degree; we, the parents, are hoping she’ll consider continuing her studies and pursue a degree in Physical Therapy.  But, one step at a time.  LOL!

This was moving day . . . in the morning . . .

Mornofmove

Kitchen1

Packing in two of many, MANY shoe boxes.  Good grief, she has more shoes than I have ever owned in my entire lifetime! The boxes just kept coming!

Kitchen2

She was pretty proud to have the kitchen all "arranged" and things in their places.

We had a last family dinner out, before saying goodbye . . . Oh, I know it’s not good-bye forever–she called me the very next day to discuss whether or not the price per pound for the nectarines she was looking at right there in the grocery store was good!  *chuckle*

Still, we stood there on the sidewalk outside the apartment, and as her Dad turned away to head for his truck, and I the mini van, she ran and gave him the full-body slammin’ hug we tend to give each other . . . and then she began to cry . . . and, so did he.  And, so did Taylor and I, standing there, clinging to each other, and watching them.

We’re pretty close. 

And sappy, I guess. 

She came back down the sidewalk to where we stood, and hugged us fiercely.  And, then, it was time to go, and time to "let her go" . . . 

My two kidlings have always gotten along pretty well, despite the 7 year age gap.  That doesn’t mean they don’t drive each other crazy at times . . . and Dave and I right along with!  *chuckle*

Taylor held my hand for quite a while as we drove along the freeway, and I could see the tears were still rolling down his cheeks, despite his silence.  In an attempt to lighten things up, I said, "Hey, soon as we get her room completely cleared out, she said you could move into it!  AND, she won’t be around to pick on you!"

"Yeah, well.  I will miss that.  I will miss her.  A lot." 

And, I knew what he meant; he loves his sister madly, and she him, and they both know it.  And, that is a good thing.  And, as they both continue to grow up, I hope they remain as close as they are right now.

I left a card for her:

Righthere

Righthere2

And, we will!

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70 Comments
  1. Sheesh, I just came across this. I haven’t blog hopped in ages and now I’m bawling!!! Sheesh….well, I wasn’t the only one. LOL

    Thanks for sharing, I LOVE the card you left!!

  2. Oh my gosh. You made ME cry. I am so happy that your children are close, and like you, I hope it remains that way throughout their life. Love the card you left for her.

  3. Stop, you’re killing me – I can’t stop crying! Stinks doesn’t it? I know my baby girl has left also. I thought I wouldn’t stop crying. My DH kept telling me it would get easier, he was right. So it gets easier and that’s all I can write cause I’m still crying. take care {{{{hugs}}}} from another “my daughter has grown up” Mom
    Cheryl

  4. This is such a sweet, emotion-filled post! I’m tearing up for ya, girl!! Love the card you made for Hayley!!

  5. I can’t believe she is all grown up – such a sweet post Julie!! Love the card too but oh, the post!! {{teary-eyed here!!}}

  6. Wow, now that was a real touching post! Another HRR moment .. wooo . . I was in tears by the end of it too!! The card is just perfect.

  7. Julie,
    What a great post! Thanks for sharing this little look into your life. My kids are 9, 6, and 4 and I know that before I know it, my oldest will be going away to college. Thanks for the reminder to live in the moment and to do the best I can to raise them while they’re here and (relatively) under my control.

  8. ACK! Turn on the waterworks – it’s tissues all around over here! I don’t even want to think about the day my baby leaves, luckily I have quite a wait. I’m sure time passes faster than I could ever realize.

    {{hugs}} to all of you! I’m sure she’s going to make you really proud.

  9. Dang Jules, where was the tissue alert? *sniff sniff* I happen to be SUPER sentimental and your story made me cry! I cannot as a mother imagine the time my children will leave the house. My son will start high school next year, so it’s not *that* far away for me and YIKES am I scared to let go! *EEK* The card you made her was perfect! HUGS and hang in there. I am sure you will miss her tremendously!

  10. I have a 15 year old and an 8 year old so I know about the gap in age. I fear the day that my oldest moves out … we are all so close too…. I’m so glad I’m not the only sap. My husband fears the day for me. He knows it is going to be hard, but we must “let” them go. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope she does well and I wish you all good luck.

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