web analytics

 . . . involved getting up very early, and schlepping an hour away to watch my son play in 2 basketball games.  I am so glad I was there–they played well, and actually won both games. The team is really coming along, and it's very rewarding to watch my son, as he skyrockets in height, become more confident in his abilities. 

Sappy tho it sounds, this is an exciting time for me, and for Dave, who is coaching the Swish team.  It's thrilling to watch your kid listen attentively to his coach (coaching your own kid is not always easy), and get out there and do his best, and encourage his teammates to do the same.  I just wanted to bust with pride at the end of the 2nd game, not because they won, or the rebounds he got, nor the buckets he scored, but because he worked so hard, and he was so "coachable"–receptive.  Magic seems to happen when this occurs, and I don't know any other way to describe that kinda parental joy and pride.

OK, so enough on the motherly sap.  There was also an indoor soccer event Taylor's soccer coach had arranged, so all the boys went off to enjoy that, and Dave dropped me off at the mall.  I was on a quest for a new pair of jeans.

Did you know it can take an *entire* day of shopping to find one pair of jeans that fit?  It is EXHAUSTING.  And FRUSTRATING.


#1.  I'm short; sometimes petite is still too long
#2.  I got muffin top to contend with
#3.  Everything seems to be "low rise"  these days; which seems to emphasize the muffin top effect.  Not good.  Definitely NOT good.  Besides, I don't care what figure type you are, when you bend down to pick something up, do you *really* want people getting a bird's eye view of this:


Cuz, yeah.  That's what we see.  Even on the beautiful, slender figures behind the counter at Hollister, that's what we see when they turn around–and don't even bend down!!!– to bag up those I-swear-this-was-designed-to-fit-a-newborn-infant-not-an-adult-female-figure sweaters for our daughters for Christmas.  Oh, and the thong.  We definitely know the color and type of thong they're wearing, too.

Hate to break the news, but, it just doesn't look good . . . no matter how beautiful and slender. 

Anyway, what's a middle-aged gal like me to do?  I wanna be hip, and fashionable, as long as I can, of course, but, by the same token, not exposing the world to anything unsightly, ala Stacy & Clinton's advice.

I stumbled across one pair, that was tagged "slight low rise"?  I cornered an unsuspecting, and defenseless sales lady and asked, "Exactly what does 'slight' low rise mean???"

Because, ya' got the following to choose from, when it comes to jeans nowadays:

  • Natural Waist (you know, the kind our grandmother's feel comfortable wearing, that might land just under the boobs, and sometimes feature adjustable elastic waistbands, too?)
  • Just Below the Natural Waist
  • Mid Rise (is that the same as Just Below the Natural Waist???)
  • Low Rise
  • Super Low Rise

So what the heck is "slight" low rise???  Exactly WHERE on the scale of rise does it fall???  Poor kid; she didn't know what hit her and had that deer-in-the-headlights look on her face, and stammered around, finally admitting, she was as in the dark as I was . . . I let her off the hook, chuckling and patting her on the arm, and thanked her for trying to help me anyway, and proceeded to go through every rack and shelf display of jeans in Macy's . . . in pursuit of the elusive pair of perfect, age-appropriate, flatter-fitting jeans for my body shape and size:  Shorter than average, with a little bit o' plump.

I finally did emerge victorious.  In fact, with two different pairs. But, it took ALL afternoon of  trying on what seemed like a hundred different pairs just to find these two.  In fact, I'm tempted to go back and buy two more of each, because I don't know if I could survive another jean-shopping experience like this again . . . whoah, lolly!!! 


  1. At 5’2″ as well, I have the same trouble with jeans. Old Navy & Gap used to be the only place I could find jeans that really fit, but those don’t anymore. So I tried Levi’s and found some…but now can’t remember the number…5-forty somethings, I think. The best jeans I found, however, are DKNY. I buy them at the outlet mall where they aren’t too pricey, and the “short” size really fits! Not too long and they don’t shrink like the Old Navy & Gap to become too short. They are low rise, but not so low that you share all your stuff with the world.

  2. I am with you sister! I’m 5’4″ and have such a hard time finding jeans too. I don’t really have any advice since I am always on the lookout for “the perfect jeans” myself. If I ever find something I’ll be sure to let you know.

    As I was reading your post, I thought of this old SNL clip:


    Check it out!

Leave a Reply